Anyway I wrote this in a comics forum and it seemed like a rather good rant, so I thought I'd share it here
I want to say thanks to the guys who have challenged some really toxic gender notions on this thread. It warms my heart and great to see a variety of responses, especially with the frustrations that being a woman involved in comics can bring sometimes. And a shout out to the other awesome women in comics.
I'm a feminist and proud.
I believe in equity and equality, I dream of all people living lives free of violence, with opportunities and liberties to lead full, creative, valued, loving lives. I try as much as I can, small step by small step to work towards that impossible dream. I do do that through the cultural and practical lens of being a woman and a feminist framework helps me both philosophically and practically.
Feminism, and feminist texts (such as Goldman's Slaying the Mermaid, Women and the Culture of Sacrifice) have also enriched my capacity to have a loving relationship with my partner of 5 years (and now my husband). It has helped me see a lot of the secret ways women sacrifice themselves and helped me make active, empowered choices and helped to prevent toxic passive-agression and other nasties of internalised disempowerment. Feminism has helped me be a more honest partner, to communicate, to articulate and to shape my life.
It is not the only framework, life is not single in dimensions, no person is _just_ a feminist.
Gender is a powerful force in our culture whether we like it or not, it's how we choose to respond to it. Gender inequality still exists, men get a better deal in a lot of places, women get a better deal in some places. As a side effect of feminism I've seen men at last be able to celebrate nurturing roles without being treated like a pervert - that I've seen with my own eyes.
Feminism is still relevant, active, articulate and diverse - even when men say it is dead, it's not their call. It isn't a monolith or an edifice, nor is it the dominant paradigm and can be woven into quite diverse and even contradictory frameworks (socialist, conservative, liberal, democratic, environmental, DIY, radical, multicultural, and more and as side note I have heard Radical Lesbian Feminists speak very warmly an lovingly towards men so take that stereotype and shove it too).
What's more, I find feminism useful, I find it interesting, I find it challenging and it's still a work in progress.
all about my vagina does an excellent blog about labias, this rant certainly rings true to me, was chatting about it to a friend. Back in the day when I didn't like my cunt (later got to like it - grew into it so to speak) it was tied up with not wanting to grow up in general. I didn't want to get a woman's body, didn't want to get hips or boobs - basicly didn't want to get my mother's body - growing up seemed close to death and I think from the age of 7 I was raging against the sexualisation of the world. Grew up and into the horrible bits (lets face it puberty sucks). Growing up is hard, especially in a world where it seems good exercise, good food, pills and a surgeon's scalpel should make you perfect if you're not lazy. Anyway, check out the rant, it's a lot more articulate than me - female puberty is skimmed over often. You get boobs bum and menstrual - and no one gives a hoot just cope (I'm reminded that in some northern african tribes where male and female children are considered genderless and treated the same until puberty. The guy is circumcised, it's a huge deal feast, celebrations go on for weeks on end. The girl gets circumcised, and there might be, but doesn't have to be, a small dinner while her legs are strapped together for at lest two weeks while she heals.)
Welcome to the next chapter of Azahru's bits.
It's been over a year since surgery now. It's nearly the one year anniversary of my stitches being taken out.
Having those stitches taken out was the single most painful experience of my life - imagine having a really really nasty pimple one of those ones that sends shockwaves through your whole body when you squeeze it. Now imagine having multiple pimples in a line down your labia/penis. Imagine having a pimple squeezed mightily over a sustained period and know that there are 20 more to go and know that if you twitch there are a pair of scissors in action sharp enough to cut through flesh working away at your genitals. I should have brought a piece of leather, I think I ended up biting into my jumper so the screams weren't too loud.
So genitals have been on my mind and all the huge stuff
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wibble and I have been through together, not big on a global scale, no civil wars here or land mines to worry about. From surgery, to wedding, my mad striving to have an impossible career (comics), job changes, animals dying as they are wont to do. We're not very good at the quiet life. The remnant stumps of my left labia still bug me, as does the pointy bit of asymetrical flesh they created that I always worry will catch on things. It scares me a little to know that I had a very neat, tidy and skilled surgical labiaplasty.
One year on... it kind of boggles the mind. And eight and a half years ago I was a scared, stubborn young woman removing necrotic labia flesh that had gone black with nail clippers rather than see a doctor - that really boggles the mind. I'm glad I'm a little bit more skilled and a lot more secure these days - older, wiser and younger :)
Crits, thoughts, suggestions, edits etc always very welcome. I hope this content will evolve.
( latest draft of webpage content )
It was Dr Dreher on the phone, he'd received my letter that morning and was ringing to apologise.
It was a really unexpected phone call, he felt just dreadful that I'd had such a horrible experience. He didn't quibble with any of the contents and could see it all as a legitimate interpretation of events. He said he tries to have a really informal rapor with patients, hates the power dynamics that can happen and it's interesting to see how some well intentioned actions of his had the opposite effect 'cause I couldn't see the thinking behind it.
You'll all be relieved to know that the person X that he said "Drunk again?" had not consumed any alcohol at all. It was a patient he had had a long and friendly relationship with who had tripped up some stairs and was worried, it was a joke that made her laugh. It looks like he goes for what appears to be a laisez fair approach in an effort to negate power dynamics he's uncomfortable with - he now knows that for some it comes across that he's not taking people seriously.
He came across as really willing to listen, improve his practice and he indicated that he just felt terrible about what had happened without putting his upset emotions on me, which was good and respectful.
I'm really glad he called, with many less than ideal experiences I was feeling very much alone in my complications and feeling like if I wanted to see a specialist for support there was no way in hell I was going to go through more crap and all my trust had been shattered. It's funny how things have come full circle, if I needed to see a gyno Dr Dreher would probably now be my pick!
I wish I'd written an angry letter sooner, but I'm glad I wrote eventually. It's been a really valuable, positive experience and made me a huge advocate for consumers speaking up early and often, there's a lot to be gained for us and our medical practitioners who often work in isolation.
So it's been a pretty full on day, I've cried heaps, but it's been good.
A bloody good read, should I ever have girl children I shall give them a copy each. They will be hugely embarassed (similar to my sister and I when we got a copy of A Woman's Body each one christmass), but when they are ready to read it they'll have a treasure trove of stuff (similar to a woman's body, that ranged from proper dental hygiene through to sexual positions to use if you experience back pain)
It actually contains pictures of labium that aren't stunted or cut short. It hurt to read the opening chapter with labium that have been cut short. Once I too had a butterfly like vulva.
It's a big book, I've only flicked through it thus far. I may well end up writing to the author.
It was interesting to read that some sexual pain is similar to phantom limb pain and made me wonder if that is part of the pain I've been experiencing.
Yeah, sadly sexual rehabilitation seems to have significant ups and downs. I've thrown out KY and never shall I use it again, application of this lube burnt like fire and produced whimpering sounds from me. Suggestions of hypoallergenic lubes very welcome. So far paw paw ointment is the only consistently non hurting thing and it's good not to be dependent on the one thing.
Later acts that were normally pleasurable caused terrible pain like cuts or tearing in my left labia, around the area where the most labia was removed. I was thinking that it was scar tissue not being as elastic as the previous tissue. Reading this book makes me think maybe it's phantom limb pain. Most women having labiaplasty would have disasociated from their labium and that might have made it less likely - while me I was quite attached to my bits, something unusual I imagine in labiaplasty patients and possibly to my detriment. The grief is still very real and powerful sometimes, especially as the road to wellness is a touch rocky.
I wonder if the extreme pain and inflamation feeling lube causes now is because I have less dead cells in the way. Possibly previously there would have been more interferance and less pain getting through, but now all that dead flesh is gone I get to experience allergic reactions in the raw.
Ah well, just need more practice and thank heavens for paw paw ointment
My love life is nearly back to normal, 9+ months of pain and varying degrees of ruination can make things a touch difficult. Though full praise to my sweety he's been a perfect accepting angel, no preassure whatsoever, him letting me call all the shots without me even realising that's what he was doing until recently. Still getting used to things, slowly journeying to normal, some bits are 'normal'. Some bits where the surgeon's knife had to go deep are like stumps and those bits make me sad. One bit looks like a flappy cut piece of paper, I have a funny piece of asymetry I think where they had to curve sharply up to avoid damaging the clitoris. The bits that are remnant stumps make me sad and undone sometimes, but at least the scar tissue isn't as hard anymore, it's softened up and is more flesh like. My body didn't like the hypoallergenic moisturiser recommended by the specialist, even olive oil was reactive, but fermented paw paw ointment was what brought about healing in the end. It really is magical stuff.
Ticking off the boxes. Here's a draft of a letter to Dr Dreher. After this I need to write a friendlier letter to Chiri and then I'm done(ish)- depending on how Dr Dreher responds. Would love to know what you think.
( Read more... )
Today I took the day off to reserve strength for the bus trip - I'm catching the bus down to Sydney to see specialist again who will remove stitches and hopefully say I can stop taking steroids. That would be nice. Was feeling a bit silly about taking day off but as energy levels decline in afternoon I can see it was a good thing to do. I still have to pack but the house is minutely tidier.
It's quite interesting the dissolving stitches that are supposed to last 4 weeks are going spang prior to the event. Quite a number of stitches have broken at one end and instead of being like a trussed up roast I've got these new whiskers pointing out. They seem to like going spang on one side only. One stitch that has been sticking out and looking ready to fall off for some time did in the bath tub a few days ago. Fascinating looking at your own stitch that has floated ashore on your belly button and trying to figure out if they used a reef knot or some other half hitch combination.
I'm doing good, although I'll probably sick for many more weeks. Work has been wonderfully supportive, my biggest worry is my burden on them as being community sector workers they can't help but care. It is very cool that my boss is an expert on chronic pain management :)
Went to sydney last night to see a specialist this morning, a specialist I only know about thanks to wonderful LJ land THANK YOU :). Was feeling a bit selfconscious, selfish and silly and going all the way to sydney in a rush, but very glad, the past few days have had a few spikes of pain so bad they caused me to scream and sob uncontrollably into a towel and less and less sleep every night as I wake up in burning pain.
Right now I am resting comfortably having taken no painkillers since 2pm!! The Doxylamin Succinate (a sleepy making antihistamine) has been wonderfully soothing and Prednisone may be kicking in already (for extreme allergic reactions see - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/drug
And hurrah for PBS - the total cost of my drugs about $17 and $15 of that was the Prednisone. For those not in Aus PBS is the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme where the government subsidises pharmaceutical products for all australians, pretty nifty. When my mum had a brain tumour this meant that mum's medical costs were a thousand dollars a month instead of a thousand dollars a day!
I think I will post less for a while. Chronic pain is only interesting for a little while and there's more to me than this, will post labia survival guide draftings though.
And I will say I do seem to be healing slowly from the surgery.
I hobble into the mall, using wibble's walking stick as it is a useful symbol of invalidity and has valuable cultural currency, rather than just being a chick who's waddling funny without being pregnant. Distances are suddenly much bigger and my hips are very sore. I study the information map for a long time, I'm not 100% sure where the closest shop is and I can't afford wrong turns.
I hobble along, aware of the gazes I get from some as a young woman hobbling and smiling back when I can.
The wait in the optus shop is long, one person swiftly finishes a transaction but the family in front of me are angry, annoyed and complex, they've already been waiting a while and had some transactions earlier. I wait for what feels like a very long time, at least 5 minutes, stooped over my stick (I can't sit), more and more people arrive into the store and wait. To their credit I notice some signs that say they are low on staff today and there may be delays. Eventually another staff member comes out from her break, she gazes around the crowd (there is no line, more a hemisphere of waiting) and guesses that the woman with the baby has been waiting longest. I think the woman with the baby is half willing to be next, what with carrying a baby, but I let out a strangled noise and assert that I am next. The effort to assert my nextness, the fear of having to wait more after having waited so long snaps my composure and I am shaking and trembling uncontrollably, I burst into tears half way through the transaction. I explain gaspingly that it's just because I'm in a lot of pain. The staff member is concerned, offers me a seat, "no thanks" (no air cushion, I couldn't regardless of how tired), offers to put the credits into my phone, I say "no thanks, there are a lot of people waiting", she offers a couple of times, but I say no - I also don't want to be that much of an invalid. She offers me a glass of water, I am glad I can say yes to that.
I shuffle to the side and resting my cane against the table I start putting the phone credits in, something to concentrate on while my body calms down, the glass of water helps. My cane slides from the table and onto the ground, a sweet little old lady picks it up for me :)
I hobble out of the store, call wibble to have lunch with him before I go on to the training course, I'm not safe to drive until I've rested a while and I'm vibrating with pain and ignored pain. My hips hurt from using the stick to walk, but it is useful currency, I smile twinkle eyed at the folks older than me with sticks, as if sharing an in joke, some don't notice, some smile back, some seem startled. It makes the meters roll by.
Lunch with wibble at "Far from the madding crowd" a place in woden well worth checking out, just lovely.
Then to training, I survived for an hour and a half before a wonderful colleague who I'd only just met (she started the monday after my surgery) kindly but firmly sent me home. I cried on the way home from exhaustion, getting into the house I had to make little grunty noises to give myself energy and distract myself from the pain.
Did lots of dermatology research, brought up so many memories of childhood illness and pain. I was ill for years on end, cried lots, got stuck on a few obsession paths, but broke free.
Plan was to go back to training on Tuesday, but tuesday morning I knew I was in no state to do so. Wibble was worried I'd get stuck on obsession paths and think myself into a state of far worse exhaustion than I would going to training, so we put together a game plan for the day, and a timer so that I wouldn't do one thing (like read lj *cough*) for too long and would take breaks. Very glad I did as mid morning brought bright red blood and menstrual pain from hell. It was mind bogglingly painfull, I really did feel like I was swimming through a river of gut churning red pain.
It certainly made make things make sense, increased emotional vulnerability, increased pain sensitivity, thinning of the skin (so increased rupture ability my poor sphincter), increased inflammation and slow healing from a pre-menstrual estrogenic state made significantly worse by the stresses of surgery (and if I recall this kind of stress produces cortisone which is anti progesterone, so there would be less progesterone to counteract the negative impacts of the estrogen... or something like that, not enough energy to check my stuff right now - I am a bit hormonally vulnerable). Fingers crossed I'll ovulate this month which should be timed well to help protect me from the stresses of returning to work.
Home today, home tomorrow, home the day after, guests and phone calls welcome, though the house is a mess.
Preparation for post-op recovery
Intro
My Gyno said 7-10 days, and from my experience the majority of those days will be flat on your back with your legs apart as anything else will be too painful. I would recommend extreme caution if the doctor says it won't take long as they are probably sugar coating. My understanding is that laser surgery takes about XXXXXX.
Further to this different people heal at different rates, I took much longer to heal and on day 10 when I tried to return to work I lasted about an hour and a half before they kindly, but firmly sent me home. I desperately wanted to be better, wanted to be fine, but I simply wasn't and pushing yourself when healing will just make full recovery more distant and run the risk of post operative complications.
Those 7-10 days need to be full of pretty much nothing, maybe a few visits to understanding friends if someone else is driving and you feel up to it, but that's about it. You also need the flexibility to take more time of if necessary and a staged return to work may be the sanest possibility once you've recovered.
This means shopping needs to be done in advance, it's good if you're living with someone who can provide you with good company and help you and do the cooking as you won't be up for much. If you're living alone I'd strongly recommend organising a roster of friends to come around so you have some human contact and help as even getting up to get a glass of water can be an ordeal at times. Cooking in advance and pre-prepared meals are very useful. You will need to have someone with you for the first 24 hours after surgery as you recover from the general anesthetic. If you're not signed out into the care of someone they should make you stay overnight. If you are having the procedure under twilight sedation there may be different requirements as twilight sedation is much milder, but having someone keep an eye on you is probably a good idea anyway.
Pre-op shopping list:
An inflatable ring – used around the world by people with terrible hemorrhoids and women who have given birth. Makes sitting upright tolerable and was the only way I could travel in a car for a long time.
A shower attachment on a flexible tube – generally sold for the purposes of washing babies. This allowed me to go to the toilet and without feeling manky and experiencing terrible pain afterwards.
A tub big enough to sit comfortably in for salt water soakin – most people sit in the bath tub but I found I got unendurably cold. Instead I had a very large laundry tub/bucket that I sat in, I found this much more pleasant and was a time to sit upright in comfort (supported by a sort of water bra for my vulva). My bucket was a bit of a tight fit so I couldn't splash the water around as much as I probably should have and if I had my time again (and hopefully it will be NEVER again) I would probably get a roomier plastic storage bin to sit in. This might not be for everyone and it's good to trial getting in and out of your bucket before surgery to see if it's comfortable for you and what modifications you may need to make.
Painkillers in a range of strengths. I left the hospital with Panadeine Forte (500mg Paracetamol 30mg Codeine) and it was good to be able to lower my Codeine intake in a controlled way by having on hand tablets with 500mg Paracetamol and 10mg Codeine and a slightly milder 500mg Paracetamol with 8mg Codeine. I also had some painkillers that were 'night time' painkillers that contained 500mg Paracetamol 9.75mg Codeine and an antihistamine that would make me sleepy. I also had plain paracetamol. I'd recommend chatting to your doctor before using ibuprofen products or aspirin as they are blood thinners.
Low intensity distractions – videos and dvds with easy watching content, easy to read books. There were times when I accidentally exhausted myself by playing computer games too much as the adrenaline from the game play gave me a false sense of vitality... until I crashed. I bought a jigsaw puzzle, but even that was too much on some days. A found it very beneficial to have something that required a lot of concentration when I was at the hospital waiting for surgery, it distracted me from feeling nervous.
Loose garments. I spent most of my recovery in a thick cotton dressing gown, it was warm, adaptable and easy to get out of. When wearing clothes was necessary my undergarments of choice were large men's cotton boxer shorts, as the less touching my tender bits the better and the pouch space at the front matched up with parts that wanted the most distance.
It's very handy to have lots of clean towels and bath mats ready as you'll be spending a lot more time getting wet in the bathroom.
Food – deserving of a section of its own
Today I drove my car to woden and for my check up with Dr Chirigakis. It was hard work, but I did it. When I walked into his office I felt suddenly quite emotional, tired and weepy, which isn't surprising when you think about it and the huge amount of exertion it had taken to get there.
Good news was to be had in the form of pathology coming up with something but the surgery should have made it gone for good. So Fuck you Dr Dreher it wasn't in my head - it will be a delight to write a letter to you with a pathology report to back me. Our culture has a long history of writing off women's issues as madness and it's still there, lurking and even though I felt terrible pain Dr Dreher's judgements did poison the back of my head, help to tap into that part which said maybe it is all in my head, casting doubt and fear. Feminism and the study of the history of western medicine, particularly in Australia from fantastic course at uni (which had a week and intensive readings on the way women are pathologised and treated by systems through history) helped to contextualise and battle my thoughts, but they were still poisonous to deal with.
So the pathology report was very unusual, Dr Chirigakis hadn't seen anything like this his 30 years of practice, I had Bilaterall Interface (lichenoid) Dermatitis of the Labia. Doc says the infiltrate/invasion was about 4mm deep which is apparently pretty deep. Excema of the labia (on both sides it turns out) which explains why it slept for a while, but flared up excruciatingly and why the doc said I had very spongy tissue in places (and ergo prone to tearing).
Here's the pathology report with notes and me using google to learn about all the latin names - not complete, I'm going to edit and add to this over the next few days as I am too tired right now, but want to post what's here and add more later.
Histopathology report (dictionary.com Histopathology - The study of the microscopic anatomical changes in diseased tissue)
Clinical notes
Left and right labia minora ------ ---- -> Dyspareunia
Dyspareunia, pain from having sex, I guess that was the closest box they could find to put me and certainly our love life has suffered a little when you have to worry about painful tearing. Dyspareunia as far as I am aware has often been claimed to be a psychological condition. So it has been very nice to see that the websites I have quickly looked at (and there are quite a few) recognise physical stuff as generally the primary issue, this from wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyspareuni
Dyspareunia is painful sexual intercourse, due to medical or psychological causes. The term is used almost exclusively in women, although the problem may occur in men. The causes are often reversible, even when long-standing, but self-perpetuating pain is a factor after the original cause has been removed.
Dyspareunia is considered to be primarily a physical, rather than an emotional, problem until proven otherwise. In most instances of dyspareunia, there is an original physical cause. Extreme forms, in which the woman's pelvic floor musculature contracts involuntarily, is termed vaginismus.
Macroscopic examination
Two specimen jars received.
1. "Left labia". The specimen consists of a tage of skin measuring 30x10x3mm. Representative sections in two blocks.
2. "Right labia". the specimen consists of three tags of skin measuring 32x8x5mm, 18x5x3,, and 20x7x3mm, representative sections in two blocks.
(my/rf)
Microscopic Examination
1&2 The sections of redundant vulval skin show quite marked focal lichenoid dermatitis with an interface component to the inflammatory infiltrate but only negligble spongiosis. There is no specific pattern to the inflammatory infiltrate.
Lichenoid dermatitis, from http://www.thedoctorsdoctor.com/Disease
Lichenoid tissue reactions are characterized by epidermal basal cell damage. Killer T lymphocytes (CD8) attack the basal keratinocytes probably induced by ICAM-1 (Intercellular adhesion molecule-1) expression in the keratinocytes. The result is cell death leading to Civatte bodies, a result of apoptosis. Vacuolar alteration, also known as liquefaction degeneration results form intracellular edema leading to separation. With continued damage at the dermoepidermal junction, melanin transfer from melanocytes to keratinocytes is disrupted leading to release and phagocytosis by macrophages.
So I read that as my immune system went a bit whacko and and started attacking cells, this makes a lot of sense given my medical history and my family's medical history - overactive immune systems have caused a lot of grief. Although that would also indicate a risk of other crap things like this arising, but at least I have better information now and ties in with other health issues, it certainly warrents a lengthy biomedical chat with dad and possibly check in with his doctor who understands the endocrinological issues (and is the only doctor I've ever hugged), though that might not be necessary.... just had a brief chat with dad and he wondered if maybe rather than this having been an effect of auto immune issues it might have been a start point as it began when I had pretty good health. Much food for thought and different resources to look at. It's kind of exciting to have a start point rather than, "yeah that's my family, we're freaks of medical nature" - given we have a tendency to ellude neat labels. It's kind of exciting I've never had a test be conclusive before, where you can stand up firmly and say THIS.
No mast cells are seen in the dermis (i.e. no urticaria -that's hives).
No fungal elements are present in the surface keratin hair. The pattern is suggestive of a simmple if focal excematous dermatitis.
Summary
BILATERAL INTERFACE (LICHENOID) DERMATITS OF LABIA MAJORA (SP - I pressume the pathologist mean minora, I didn't pick that up until I was typing it out. It would certainly be a creepy, possibly super powered pathologist who could comment on my firmly attached majora)
With the tissue removed it should bother me no more, but I will do research to see if there is preventative stuff I can do.
I am now very sore and have burst into tears three times today, but I'm happy and well on the whole. I'm a bit scared of tomorrow, the idea of wearing underpants all day was one of the things that made me burst into tears. I suspect I may need a lot of painkillers and ice tomorrow. Drive to the doctors at 11 and depending on what he says either back home or too a training course with a bunch of corporate types. I may just blow their minds as I walk in with my inflatable ring and a willingness to lie on the floor if need takes me.
The Labiaplasty survival guide
This web resource was inspired by a need to have more information on the internet about labiaplasty that wasn't connected to selling a service. When it was clear I needed to have a Labiaplasty I searched high and low for some balanced information and while I had cosmetic surgeons assuring me I'd be fine a few days, horrible predatory websites telling me that no man would ever love me if I was asymmetrical or had a slightly big labia, I couldn't find the balanced information I craved. Some of the websites selling products weren't too bad, although they generally sugar coated the impact surgery and referred to labiaplasty as 'beautification', which I resented as pre-surgery labia can be quite beautiful. Some websites even had before and after photos to look at, labia stretched out to look at their worst and then labia cut down.
This discussion of elongated labia was probably the best discussion of surgery in the context of other labial phenomenon with this as the most beautiful depiction of a labia I've found.
There are some fantastic general labia conversations going on, such as the fun website It's all about my vagina with some fantastic love heart t-shirts celebrating asymmetry. I also found this interesting account of the Office of Film and Literature Classification's role in policing what sort of labia are depicted and warping what is seen by some as 'normal'.
This is not a definitive guide and I have no medical qualifications, the majority of this is based on my personal experience, supplemented by research. I hope it will provide a valuable start point and welcome suggestions thoughts or ideas. Some info is generic and some info such as access to the public health system is specific to Australia.
I've gone into a lot of detail, some of which may be self evident or basic to you, but I wanted to go through ideas step by step as areas of knowledge vary and I know I can become forgetful when dealing with something stressful.
Pre-Surgery
Intro
If you're considering surgery because you think you're abnormal I'd recommend checking out some websites that celebrate labia first. I'd also recommend chatting frankly to a GP you trust (if you have one or can find one) as labia can come in all sorts of wonderful shapes and sizes.
If your labia are so big it hurts to wear pants, hurts to ride a bike etc, or like me parts of your labia are slowly tearing off surgery may well be for you. It's certainly not to be taken lightly as it is significant surgery and painful to recover from.
Step 1: Seeing your GP
Although I just go to a health centre there is a specific GP I always see for stuff relating to women's business, she's very down to earth and I can trust her. I'm glad I'd already built rapor with her, having received pap-smears from her and seen her for gynecological issues. Even though your GP won't be involved much I'd say having a GP you can trust and also be respected by is a worthwhile longtime investment, not just this health issue but all other health issues.
Before seeing your GP ask around if you can and find out who are the good gynos in town (or out of town if necessary).
Have a bit of a chat to your GP and an exam and they will probably refer you on to a gynecologist. I presumed my GP would know all the good gynos in town, but she didn't, we ended up picking someone out of the listing – we went for a out patients clinic in a public hospital which was free and pretty good. She wrote me a referral, but there ended up being a much longer wait to see this surgeon than I could stand so I decided to go private and look for a different gyno. The staff at the health centre gave me a photocopy of the listing of gynos in town and my doctor said she was happy to change my referral if I found someone else to go to. The ability to change and get extra referrals was to prove valuable.
Step 2: Picking a Gynecologist/Cosmetic Surgeon.
Get someone skilled who you can trust and feel respected by
The first Gynecologist I saw was highly recommended by a friend and nurses and I knew he had experience in surgery. Despite the high recommendations seeing him was a shattering experience You can read the details here
I nearly had surgery with a doctor I didn't trust! Something I vow I will never do, it's just not worth the risk, especially given the emotion tangled up with surgery like this, the last thing I'd want in that fragile state is a salesman or what could have been my case a doctor that might actively shame me as be unhappy to be there.
I asked around some more and found another gyno and it was a simple matter of ringing up my health centre picking up the new referral when I was in the area. The second Gyno was great, respectful, cared about his work and was a qualified cosmetic surgeon as well as a gynecologist. Sure it costs money to get a second opinion, but not as much as the surgery and this is a significant body modification you will be getting from your specialist.
Note: if you are getting a labiaplasty for health reasons in Australia you can access it through the public health system, you can see a private gyno who does surgery in a public hospital or go public all the way, however waiting times for this kind of elective surgery is over a year. Some doctors only work at certain hospitals and may only be available privately (as was the case with my doctor, but there was no way I could endure a year or more of pain). On the plus side this surgery will be free as opposed to several thousand dollars.
http://www.youtube.com/v/D2kJZOfq7z
And in pain management news. Yesterday was still on the whole a good day although I did collapse utterly in the evening, I think playing computergames plus the verticality took more out of me than I realised. I got into a terribly distressed state, feeling nauseous as well as sore and inflamed (though not in an infection kind of way), not even the salt bath helped much and I burst into tears. Didn't get to sleep until well past 2. Wibble has been so supportive it's wonderful, really has been waiting on me hand and foot. So today was very much a lying on the couch day, Dr Who, a bit of computer gaming and visits to the bathroom, a few phone conversations, some internet and a small amount of food, that's about it. Feeling better though and my stomach is glad for the reduction in pain killers.
The biggest difference has been implementing one of those hose things with a mini shower head on the end. Going to the toilet has been very painful, problematic, and unless timed with a salt bath leaves me feeling pretty manky as well as abused by the toilet paper (most of the flesh is pretty normal colour now, except for one angry purple bruised lump, which was scabby earlier, I think from the trauma of gingerly dabbing with toilet paper). the mini shower head has been soothing for body and mind and I can see why some cultures think the toilet paper thing is a bit peverse and unclean. It's glad to have a happier way of doing things which gives me some pain afterwards, but not the must be medicated now kind of pain. It's very bad to be taking codeine and have a fear of drinking water at the same time, not much fun at all. It's funny how I feel a bit inhibited about posting about the pain of opiate induced constipation when I can do so much TMI - I just wish I'd remembered earlier that I actually adore prunes, my parents used to have to get quite stern with me about limiting my prune intake as a child!
I think I've figured out what format the labia web thing I'd like to do. A survival guide pre and post surgery, including those things most people are too polite to mention, generic and labia specific and handy tips esp as it's hard to go shopping for supplies once your bedbound. If we didn't already have one of those shower head baby washing devices already on hand I never would have thought of it - bought to wash wibble's hair when he was going mad with head itchiness but he had stitches that couldn't get wet
Imprecise directions such as "a handfu' of salt in 10cm of water - I realise now that 10cm may have been referring to a bath tub rather than a tub. That would certainly explain why although wonderfully free of any kind of post operative infection I do feel somewhat dessicated and chemically burned :(.
Much pain last night and today, even ice lastnight was only marginally soothing enough for fitful snoozing. Had to cancel MCing the launch which I'm very sad about. wonderful Wibble took the day off work to care for me and Oothoona dropped by in the morning. Spent the day playing playstation and only mildly medicated (4 hours between painkillers and 10mg of codeine only!), feeling itchy and tired but not too bad other than the dessicated itchy burned feeling and general post op pain.
Been thinking about female circumcision also known as female genital mutilation. Given I've gone through the closest thing the mainstream western world does (right down to the procedure making me more female according to some websites). With top notch medical facilities and an ability to do fuck all in very hygenic conditions with good and consistent quality painkillers it's still a really painful experience to go through. it would be so awful to loose the lot, scraped away with a rusty razor blade, a piece of glass or even scissors the labia majora scraped as well to help them fuse and if you're lucky your lips will be held together with acacia thorns which actually have antiseptic powers and safer to use than unsterilised thread. The health dangers are just devestating. The post op care, lie on your side with your legs strapped together for a week or more. It's a sad thing.
Wibble is being lovely tending to me and he took some photos which have the skin looking a much healthier colour on the whole and the stitches are even more visible - I guess as swelling has gone down.
I think I shall spend tomorrow in bed as well. must save my strength for the beyounique launch on weddnesday (I'll certainly be a unique mc!)
So today I took it easy. Did have my first shower with help, then went straight back to bed and slept until past noon, took a few phone calls, grazed on some food that's probably bad for me and now, having sat in my salt water bucket I'm going to go back to sleep. especially as I am trialling moving from 30mg codeine to 8mg. the less I do the better.
Thanks again for all the kindly messages, apologies to those I've beening to ring and haven't.
:)
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